So I was out with my girls when I match with this guy. He had a good profile, interesting bio, good photos, basically, all the boxes checked. We decided I was going to start the conversation because we are in the 21st century and girls should do it too.
Side note to this: In all honesty, I am extremely shy when it comes to breaking the ice so it really, and I mean really, took a lot of courage and some pushing from my friends to actually go through with it.
But once I did and despite my extremely noncreative “Hey there! How are you doing?” he replied almost right away and quite politely I might add. It was going great, we were laughing, bonding and even flirting a little bit. Eventually, we decided we were going to meet that Thursday at Kauf Dich Glücklich Café & Mehr around 3pm.
Kauf Dich Glücklich Café & Mehr is a café and store with both men and women fashion, home accessories, design items, shoes, jewellery and cosmetics. You can find their main store in Rosenthaler Straße and the café in Oderberger Straße 44.
The place has been a recurrent choice among my friends because of their delicious vegan waffles and ice creams. The staff are usually quite friendly and the place is simply a must try in Berlin.
However, I must say that their service is not always on point since they sometimes take too long and is not as clean as most would like. But hey, those waffles, worth it!
The day arrived in the blink of an eye and as usual, I was feeling that naughty anxiety that always shows up whenever I don’t need it. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy going on dates and meeting new people but you have to admit that sometimes you expect a certain connection to be there and that can be intimidating.
We met at the entrance of the café and grabbed a nice table in the middle of the room with a big couch instead of regular chairs (honestly, not something I would recommend if you like eye contact. Unless you constantly turn between your coffee and your date). We left our jackets there and went to the bar to order their famous waffles and sat back to wait for our order.
In the meantime, we started talking about ourselves and continuing the conversation we had started via the dating app. Everything was going smoothly and I was beginning to feel completely comfortable when the question I dislike the most popped up: “Why did you decide to move to Berlin?” I know it sounds like an innocent question and in a normal circumstance I wouldn’t have a problem answering it but how do you tell a guy you just met with whom you are on a date with, that you crossed continents for your ex, without making it a bit awkward and unintentionally starting that controversial topic.
With a mental sigh, I told him as quickly as I could why I came here and after the breakup, decided to stay. Once I finished, I was actually satisfied with how it came out and I was hopeful the conversation I didn’t want to have wasn’t going to happen, but I guess I wrong. He immediately said he admired my courage and then added a comment on how difficult it is to be in a relationship (let’s face it, most times, it is).
And here is where it turned strange. Right after that sentence, he started going on and on about his ex-girlfriend with whom he had shared his life and lived together with for approximately five years. He was clearly still upset with her because according to the story he was telling, she was an absolute monster that had ruined several months of his existence.
Apparently, she had changed her behaviour from one day to another and decided he should move out. She was ruthless, evil and had no reason to kick him out (I know, strange huh?). He claimed over and over that he had been nothing but good to her, that he had always been there for her and nothing would have happened if she hadn’t gone on vacations with her friends for two weeks.
That last part bugged me a bit and so I asked what happened on that trip. Maybe she had cheated, or fell in love with someone else, or found out she wasn’t really in love with him anymore. Or maybe (and this was the strong feeling my sixth sense was giving me) he had been the one cheating. And guess what, I was right!
The real story was that he cheated on her but, only a few times (yeah, he said that) and then she, the absolute monster, couldn’t forgive him. He told me she decided to tell the truth to their friends and turned them against him so they cut him out of their lives leaving him with fewer people to hang out with. That she kicked him out of the apartment that they had been sharing for five years and worst of all, he now misses her dog.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. He was telling me all of this without the slightest regret or guilt. It was absolutely obvious to me who was the one that drowned that relationship and after a full hour of listening to him, I was actually sympathetic of the ex-girlfriend. But most importantly, I wanted to leave.
I excused myself and went to the toilet to give me a bit of time to think of a way I could run away. Most people would simply say something like “I need to leave”, “I have an appointment”, “I am sorry, this is not going to work out”, “it’s not you, it’s me” and basically anything along those lines but this is me we are talking about right? I had done this running away thing once, just once in my life and I must admit I am not good at it.
After taking a deep breath I went back to where we were sitting and I sat next to him ready to tell him how I felt, but as soon as I opened my mouth, he started talking again. This time, about me wanting to find love and having a family because I am a girl and that’s what girls want (say what again?) and there was no way, really, no way to change his mind about it.
– I don’t really feel a connection between us -I finally said once I found a small window.
– You don’t feel the spark that you are looking for?
– Well, if you want to put it in a romantic way then yes, there is no spark between us.
– So, you are looking for love!
– No, I am not particularly looking for anything. I just said that you want to make it romantic, not me. If this is better, I don’t feel the chemistry. Basically, that unspoken feeling that would encourage me to keep this going.
– Oh, okay. What did I do wrong?
– Is not that you did something wrong.. (biggest lie ever).
– I am not good looking then.
– I am not saying that. It’s simply that I don’t feel a connection. An attraction. It’s just not here.
– You know, I always get what I want. This is new to me.
– Sorry?
– Rejection is usually what makes me more interested because I need to fight to have it.
– Oh, shit! (I literally said this, way too loud).
– I’m not going to chase you if you are really not interested.
– Thank you. I am not.
– But it’s sad though.. we were talking about love and now you are telling me this.
– I was not talking about love.
So yes, great date am I right?
My Funny Little Life 